We are lesbians, and we realized that strap on is about the physical sensations, the mental stimulation, the mutuality of it, and some general advantages.

Why Strap On Dildos Can Be Better Than the “Real” Thing

SO , we agreed on that all women like different things when it comes to physical sensations, some like grinding, some like penetration.
Some queers dont like deep penetration if their g spot is very near to the entrance.  

And We think strap on have the upside here, because strap on offers a wide range of options on sizes, textures, shapes, etc. Strap on come in every form you can imagine—Small dildo , G Spot dildo, Curved Dildo for G spot stimulation, or textured for extra sensation.

When I brought this up in a convo, some friends were hesitant, saying they didn't like the idea of "plastic toys." But honestly? They’re missing out. The sex toy world has leveled up. Crassie strap ons are made with ultra-soft platinum silicone, dual density cores, making lesbian sex toys in better, more connected sex. I also think that the idea of getting different shapes, sizes etc allows you to explore, learn and try more things, there's always something new coming out. 

Mental Stimulation of Strap on in Queer Pleasure

When it comes to sexual fulfillment, physical sensation is only part of the picture—mental stimulation plays a massive role, especially for women. Studies show that only around 65% of straight women report having orgasms during sex, compared to 86% of lesbians. But orgasm isn't the only metric for satisfaction. For many straight women, emotional connection and giving pleasure to their male partner provide deep satisfaction—even if the act doesn’t lead to climax every time.

That emotional component is essential, but here’s where strap on for sex in queer relationships really shines. While some may argue that a strap on dildo can’t replicate the emotional gratification that comes from feeling a partner’s body directly, it actually opens up a whole new world of intentional, focused intimacy. I’ve talked with friends who hesitated around strap on, claiming they couldn’t feel the full length or that it lacked natural sensation. But that’s where innovative sex toy strap on like Crassie Strap on platinum silicone dildo and double dildo strap ons come in—many of which are designed to stimulate both the giver and receiver at the same time.

Sure, you might not feel every inch of a silicone shaft the way you would with flesh, but in queer sex, the attention, intention, and connection often outweigh the mechanical aspect. It’s not about mimicking a penis—it’s about creating your own version of intimacy. For those of us who are emotionally and physically attracted to women, Sex toy strap on offers a space where desire, pleasure, and exploration are centered around our needs, not society’s expectations.

One concern my friends brought up was the perceived lack of mutual pleasure with strap-ons. They felt that the person wearing the harness might be left out of the physical gratification, making the experience feel one-sided. But this idea shifted when we talked it through. With cis men, a large part of the sexual dynamic can be wrapped up in their own performance—worrying about staying hard, not finishing too quickly, or whether they’re “doing it right.” This often pulls their focus away from their partner’s pleasure.

With strap-ons, that pressure vanishes. You’re not preoccupied with your own climax—you’re fully tuned into her. You can focus completely on her reactions, her body language, and what she needs in the moment. If she wants deep, slow thrusts for 30 minutes or intense grinding in circles—guess what? You can give that, no problem, without worrying about stamina or “losing the moment.”

And yes, while mutual stimulation is important to many people, it doesn’t always have to be simultaneous. Some of the best sex I’ve ever had was entirely about giving. Learning to enjoy continuous, orgasm-optional, connection-driven intimacy is something I truly discovered through queer sex. And honestly? Sometimes the so-called “lack of mutuality” is a gift—especially if, like me, you’re hopeless at 69ing. That’s the beauty of queer sex: it’s not one-size-fits-all. It’s about tuning into your partner, your own needs, and creating something that works for both of you—even if that means taking turns or breaking the rules.

Warm Dildo and Sensation: Genius Tip for How to Warm Up a Dildo 

One concern I’ve heard from a lot of queers, especially those newer to queer sex toys, is the lack of warmth from strap on.

Modern premium materials like platinum silicone have changed the game. Like Crassie are designing soft silicone dildo that not only feel like skin but also feeling warm during use.

One of my favorite sex hacks? If you're into that warm, natural feel, place your dildo in warm water (not boiling—just cozy!) before use. When I touched it, I legit thought it was real—it was that soft, warm, and skin-like. It caught me off guard in the best way possible.

Strap On Sex Is for Wearer, Receivers—and Explorers

Whether you’re topping, bottoming, or switching it up, one of the best parts about queer strap on play is how flexible (pun intended) it is. Some wearers feel the power and intimacy of penetration in a deeply satisfying way—emotionally, psychologically, and sometimes physically (especially with double dildo or vibrating Dildo.

But even if the physical feedback is subtle, the joy of focused giving, of reading your partner’s body and delivering pleasure without pressure or ego—well, that’s queer intimacy at its finest.

Plus, let’s not ignore this universal truth: a sex toy strapon never goes "soft". If you’ve got a high sex drive or love long sessions, this alone might be the biggest upgrade from the “real thing.” Your partner can be teased, edged, and pounded to her heart’s content—with no need to pause and reboot.

Embracing Queer Sex on Our Own Terms

At the end of the day, whether you're wearing it, receiving it, or just admiring it in your nightstand drawer, a strap on dildo is not about replacing a penis. It's about creating new possibilities for pleasure, power, connection, and fun—all on your own terms.

From warming tricks and platinum soft silicone dildo to mutual stimulation and intentional intimacy, the world of queer strap on play is bigger and better than ever. And honestly? Once you’ve experienced the freedom, the focus, and the endless options—there’s no going back.