What does using a strap on do for you?

 What Does Using a Strap On Do For You?

Let’s talk about something real: strap ons, not from the surface-level "how to wear it" tutorials, but from the honest, messy, hot, emotional, and powerful side of using them in bed.

I recently discussed a question with my friends, “What does using a strap on do for you?” The answers were everything. Honest. Sexy. Funny. Tender. Thoughtful. And surprisingly helpful.

So today, we’re going to unpack the best of those answers. If you're wondering whether strap-on sex is for you and your partner, or why it might be a game-changer (or just a fun option) for lesbian sex, this one's for you.

It’s Not Just About Penetration

A strap on provides penetration—but it’s so much more than that.

Some folks love the thrusting power, the dominance, the visual of it. One of us on Reddit said it best:

"The strap is diving deep and doing the work my fingers can’t. I love how it makes me feel in control."

But others were like, "Hey, I don’t need it every time."

“Sometimes my tongue and hands are enough. But if it’s a longer session? The strap is very appreciated.”

You don’t have to use a strap every time to be a "real" lesbian couple. It’s a tool. And when used with intention? It can add depth, variety, and serious satisfaction to your play.

“It Makes Me Feel Powerful, Sexy, and Connected”

The emotional power of a strap on harness is real. Many lesbians said it made them feel confident—especially when their partner melted underneath them.

"It’s about the closeness, the control, the energy. The way she looks at me when I move in her."

For some, it's about exploring roles and dominance in ways that feel affirming, not forced.

Whether you're giving or receiving, strap on sex can affirm your desires and dynamics. It’s not about playing roles you don’t want—it’s about choosing the ones that make you feel powerful and desired.

“Sometimes It’s Trial and Error—And That’s Okay”

Multiple people admitted that the first few strap on sessions were... not amazing.

“I thought the dildo would just stay put and feel great for both of us. Nope. We had to try different angles, positions, even different harnesses.”

Some dildos were too big. Others had no give. The harness felt floppy or moved around too much. It was frustrating—until they found the right setup.

The best strap on experience takes patience. Start small. Use a dual density dildo if you want a realistic feel with a soft outside and firm core. Try an adjustable harness if you're still learning what fits. Or explore something comfy like Crassie’s SnugHer Boxer Strap On Harness, built to stay in place even during intense movement.

Let yourself figure it out—and don’t take “less-than-perfect” as failure.

“You Can Still Make It Yours”

One of my favorite quotes from the Reddit thread?

"Lesbian sex is whatever lesbians are doing together sexually."

YES.

Some people use strap on kits because they crave deeper, harder penetration. Others want the hands-free freedom a strap on with harness gives. Some love the dominance dynamic. Others want to giggle through trying something new.

Strap ons aren’t about copying heterosexual dynamics. They’re about doing what feels good for you. Let your experience be joyful, clumsy, tender, hot—all of it. Add a vibrating strap on if you’re feeling bold. Or try something low-key for slow mornings and gentle play.

What Can You Use? A Few Lesbian-Approved Favorites

At Crassie, we design lesbian sex toys that reflect everything we just talked about: comfort, connection, and serious fun. Here are some pieces that came directly from our own needs and community feedback:

• Rose Bendable Dildo – Dual hardness, soft as velvet on the outside, bendable for your body’s G-spot. No realistic shape, just delicious pink curves.

• SnugHer Boxer Harness – Our boxer brief harness made with double-layer fabric to stay secure and snug, even during intense thrusting.

• Dual Density Starter Kit – A smaller, beginner-friendly strap on kit with adjustable harness and dual-density dildo. Great for first-timers!

• Vibrating Strap On Harness Kit – With bullet vibe pockets, this one is all about extra stimulation—for both partners.

• Crassie Double Ended Dildo – Perfect for shared penetration, for those sensual nights when you want to feel each other all at once.

Use It If It Makes You Happy

Do you need a strap-on to have great lesbian sex? Nope.

Should you try one if you’re curious, turned on by the idea, or just wanna see what it feels like to take or give with more depth and control? Absolutely.

If you’re thinking, "I’m not sure it’s for me", that’s okay.
If you’re thinking, "I’d like to try, but don’t know where to start", that’s perfect too.

There are no rules to how you have sex. There are only tools, choices, and joyful little experiments. The best strap on is the one that brings you and your partner closer.