Because wanting to fuck doesn’t mean you already know how to have a lesbian sex .

It starts like this: You’re lying in bed, the lights are low, and your mind drifts. You’re wearing the strap on harness. She’s moaning under you. You’re in control — confident, powerful. You’re fucking her like you’ve done it a hundred times.

But then, back in reality, you’re Googling:
How do I  first time with a strap on​? What if I suck at it? What if she laughs at me?

Let’s say, wanting to top doesn’t mean you automatically know how. And if you’re queer, masc, or just not used to being the “wearer,” that can feel overwhelming — especially if you’ve never had sex before.

At Crassie, we believe queer pleasure is learned, earned, and incredibly beautiful at every stage. Don't be scared. They're just bodies. Bodies are amazing and soft and fun and sometimes do unexpected things. Embrace it. Love it. Enjoy the wet. Enjoy the sounds. Enjoy the mess and the feelings and the wild emotions of sex.

How Do I Even Start Strap On For Sex?

 

it’s okay if you are virgin  — It’s a Beginning

And no one is born knowing how to eat pussy, kiss with intention, or move their hips with strap on sex toy. That stuff? It’s learned.

What matters more than technique is how you show up. With curiosity. With respect. With a willingness to listen. Every single lesbian, queer, or bi woman you admire? She had a first time too — and chances are, it was awkward, wet, funny, and deeply human.

You get to have that, too.

But What If I Embarrass Myself?

One Reddit user put it best:

“Sex will always be a first. Every woman likes her own thing… the less pressure you put on yourself, the easier.”

There’s no universal “right” way to Straps Cum. What matters is tuning in. Moans, breath changes, hips pressing back into you — these are the cues. Confidence doesn’t come before experience; it’s built in the "doing".

Also, the right partner will never shame you. If she mocks you, she’s not worth your sex, your heart, or your learning journey.

You Don’t Have to Skip Foreplay — But the Strap Is Where It’s At

Strap on sex is one of the most powerful, affirming, and downright hot ways to connect as lesbian sex . It’s not just a strap on sex toy — it’s a fantasy turned physical. It's how you say I see you, I want you, I’m taking you there.

Great strap on sex starts with heat. Starts with her body asking for more. That’s where foreplay shines:

Fingers teach you rhythm, depth, and how her body responds. It’s your warm-up — and her build-up.

Oral sex is your communication in kisses. It tells her: I’m tuned in.

Dirty talk like “What do you want me to do to you?” builds consent and tension. She’ll let you know exactly what she craves.

Then? Bring out the strap on harness .

Let your partner guide you. Many bottoms love showing you how to please them — and that dynamic? Is delicious. and it is teamwork.

Here’s a beginner-friendly path to topping with a strap on for sex , especially if you’re still learning:

1. Pick the strap on kit , strap on kit makes your shopping very easier , with a soft silicone dildo and jock harness .

Go for something beginner-friendly , like beginner dildo and jock harness .

Slim, soft silicone dildo ( we strongly recommends dual density dildo which is amaizng soft outside but firm inside.)

Good suction or jock harness compatibility

Try Crassie’s Velvet Touch Starter Kit — designed for gentle beginnings, curved for G-spot play, and perfect for that first hot fuck.

The Crassie Vibrating Dildo Strap On Harness is built for dual pleasure — with a powerful bullet vibe that lets both of you feel every penetration .

2. Use lube. Lots of lube.
A lubed-up dildo is a happy dildo. Especially if you’re both nervous. Let it glide.

3. Start when you're both already turned on
Don’t rush into penetration. Begin with kisses, tongue, fingers — build heat. Only strap in once her body is clearly asking for it.

4. Let her guide the angle
No shame in asking: “Want to help me line it up?” This is a team sport, babe.

5. Thrust slowly, find your rhythm together
No jackhammering. Think slow rolls, hips like waves, staying in tune with her moans. Ask, “You like that?” and listen.

You Don’t Have to Perform

The sexiest thing about lesbian sex isn’t the mechanics — it’s the connection. It’s laughing when the harness slips. It’s trying again. It’s her telling you, “That felt so good,” even if you weren’t perfect.