New Partner, New Toy?

There’s something that always comes up in new relationships (sometimes early, sometimes later):

What do we do about toys that were used with exes?

Do we get new ones? Keep the old? Clean them and move on?

To be honest, I’ve seen and heard some possible answers to this — and I think there’s room for all of them.

So instead of telling anyone what they should do, I just want to share what many of us do, feel, and consider when it comes to the “new partner, new toy” conversation.

We All Feel Differently About This, and That’s Okay

Here are a few real, common mindsets I’ve seen in our community:

 “As long as it’s clean, I don’t mind.”

This is probably the most practical camp. Some of us feel totally fine reusing high-quality toys — especially those made from non-porous silicone or stainless steel — as long as we’ve cleaned them properly.

We might boil them, sanitize with toy cleaner, or use condoms as a barrier. To some, it’s no different than reusing kitchen tools after a good wash.

“I treat my dildo like my toothbrush. If I cleaned it properly, it’s mine to keep.”— Comment from Reddit

 “Anything used with an ex makes me uncomfortable.”

On the opposite end, some of us can’t shake the emotional association. Even if a toy is technically clean, the idea of it carrying sexual history can be too much.

Some draw the line at penetrative toys. Others say they’re okay with surface toys like vibrators, but not something that’s been inside someone else.

 “Depends on the toy.”

There’s also a big middle ground. For instance, someone might be okay reusing a strap on harness, but not the dildo that attaches to it. Or they might share a vibrator, but not an anal plug, because those are harder to clean deeply.

Others feel differently about lingerie or items gifted by exes — not because of hygiene, but because it’s emotionally complicated.

And then there are the folks who say:

“I don’t care if the toy was used before — as long as it wasn’t with my ex.” (Relatable.)

 How We Keep It Safe (Without Getting Weird)

If you do choose to reuse toys, there are a few best practices many of us follow:

• Stick to body-safe, non-porous materials like platinum silicone, glass, or stainless steel. They don’t trap bacteria and are easy to sanitize.

• Boil them (if the material allows) or use a 10% bleach solution followed by thorough rinsing.

• Use condoms cover dildos or vibrators, especially for anal-to-vaginal transitions or when you're sharing toys across different bodies.

• Don’t reuse porous toys like jelly rubber, cyberskin, or toys with tiny textures that are hard to clean.

So… Should We Just Buy New Toys?

A lot of us do.

Not necessarily because we have to, but because it can feel really good to create a new experience — together.

Buying a toy with your new partner:

• Feels like a small but meaningful ritual

• Gives you both a chance to talk about your likes and limits

• Makes the toy feel yours, not a hand-me-down from past sex

Personally? I love this approach. Sometimes it's just easier to start fresh than to overthink something old.

But I also keep a few well-loved toys that have been with me through multiple chapters — and I just make sure my partner and I talk about it openly.

 Our Crassie Collection

When we started Crassie, we knew how personal toys can be. That’s why all of our products are:

• Non-porous, easy to sanitize, and made of platinum silicone

• Free from unnecessary textures that trap bacteria or fluids

• Compatible with condoms, for those who prefer extra safety

• Designed for comfort and connection — not just performance

If you're starting fresh with someone new, here are a few toys I recommend:

• Velvet Touch Dual Density Dildo — Soft outside, firm core, cleans easily, body-safe.

• PrideHer Boxer Harness — Machine-washable, great for all-day wear and quick switch-ins.

• Crassie Vibe — Small vibes that feel intimate and clean effortlessly.

Respect Every Choice

At the end of the day, this topic is personal.

There’s no single “right” way to do it. Some of us reuse. Some of us retire toys. Some of us do both.

If your partner wants to start fresh? That’s valid.

If you want to reuse a toy you love? That’s valid too — if you talk about it.

What matters most is mutual trust, open communication, and a shared understanding of what makes both of you feel good — emotionally, physically, and safely.

So whether you’re cleaning your go-to dildo or unboxing a new one together…

You’re doing it right.