Do Lesbians Use Sex Toys?

“Do lesbian couples actually use sex toys… or am I overthinking this?”

If you’ve ever had that thought and immediately followed it with oh god what if I sound weird, you’re not alone. A lot of us—especially newer ones—wonder the same thing quietly, late at night, while scrolling or overthinking after a sweet but infrequent hookup.

Do Lesbians Use Sex Toys?

The Short, Honest Answer: Many Do. Many Don’t.

Some lesbian couples use toys regularly.
Some use them occasionally.
Some don’t use them at all and are perfectly happy.

There is no universal experience, and there is no “right” amount of toys that makes you more or less queer. Lesbian sex has always been creative, adaptable, and personal—and toys are just one optional part of that landscape.

What Do We Actually Think About Sex Toys?

Here’s what often gets lost in movies, porn, and online shops:
For most lesbians, sex toys are normal tools, not dramatic plot points.

Based on lesbian conversations and experiences, a few themes come up again and again:

Toys Aren’t a Big Deal

Many couples don’t have a formal “toy talk.” Someone reaches for a vibrator. Someone grabs lube. It just… happens—no PowerPoint required.

Toys Enhance—They Don’t Replace

Hands, mouths, bodies, and intimacy are still the heart of lesbian sex. Toys add sensations humans can’t replicate (like vibration), but they don’t replace connection.

Toys Support Different Needs

Bodies are different. Preferences are different. One partner may love a certain sensation while the other doesn’t—and toys can meet those needs without pressure or compromise.

The common thread? Choice. Not obligation.

“How Do I Bring It Up Without Dying of Embarrassment?”

This is the part so many queers get stuck on.

That little voice saying:

• What if she thinks I’m weird?

• What if she laughs?

• What if this makes things awkward?

First—your curiosity is not strange. Wanting to explore pleasure together is deeply human and deeply lesbian.

A few low-pressure ways many lesbians bring it up:

• Framing it as something you’d like to try together, not a critique

• Sharing curiosity instead of making a proposal (“I’ve been thinking about this lately…”)

• Keeping it light and optional

And just as important:
If your partner isn’t interested, that’s not rejection. It’s information. Desire works best when it’s mutual, not forced.

Does Using Lesbian Sex Toys Actually Make Sex Better?

Often? Yes.
Always? No.
And that’s okay.

For many lesbian couples, toys can:

• Add variety

• Reduce pressure to “perform”

• Help some bodies orgasm more easily

• Open new kinds of play and communication

But toys don’t magically fix intimacy issues or replace emotional safety. They work best when the foundation—trust, comfort, affection—is already there.

Trying something and deciding “meh, not for us” is not a failure. It’s part of learning what is for you.

Common Types of Lesbian Sex Toys

If you’re new and feeling overwhelmed, here’s a simple map—not a checklist.

• Vibrators – Popular, versatile, often a first step

• Wands – Strong vibration, very loved by many lesbians

• Dildos – Often non-realistic, soft silicone designs

• Strap ons & harnesses – For couples who enjoy that kind of play

• Couple toys – Designed for shared experiences

• Lubricant – Quietly one of the most loved enhancers

What matters most is body-safe materials, comfort, and choosing based on curiosity—not what you think you’re “supposed” to like.

Lesbian Sex Toy Recommendations

If you’re curious but unsure:

• Start with one toy, not a whole collection

• Choose something simple and non-intimidating

• Focus on how it feels

Many lesbians prefer non-realistic designs made from soft, body-safe silicone because they feel emotionally easier and more affirming. 

What If We Try Toys and Don’t Love Them?

Then… nothing bad happens.

You didn’t “ruin” anything.
You just learned something about yourselves.

Some couples try toys once and never again.
Some revisit them years later.
Some fall in love immediately.

All of those outcomes are valid.

Exploring Lesbian Sex Toys Together

If you’ve made it this far, you already know one important thing:
lesbian sex toys are optional, personal, and nothing to be embarrassed about.

The next question many queers quietly ask is:
“Okay… but where do we even start?”

Start With Intention, Not Products

Before talking about toys, it helps to ask a softer question than “what should we get?”

Try:

• What kind of sensations do we already like?

• Do we want something playful, comforting, or new?

• Are we curious together, or is this more of a solo exploration for now?

Many queers start with toys not because something is missing, but because curiosity shows up naturally over time.

Category 1: Simple, Low Pressure Toys 

For couples who are shy, new, or just easing into the idea, simple designs often feel safest emotionally.

Why do many lesbians start here:

• No learning curve

• Easy to stop or pause

• Familiar sensations

• Less mental pressure

At Crassie, this often looks like soft silicone vibrators or small toys that don’t visually resemble bodies. Many queers tell us that non-realistic shapes feel emotionally easier, especially early on.

These toys aren’t about “doing more.”
They’re about adding comfort and choice.

Category 2: Toys Designed for Shared Play

As comfort builds, some couples start wondering what it might feel like to explore together rather than taking turns.

This is where lesbian sex toys designed for shared rhythm come in.

Examples include:

• Double-ended designs meant to move with both bodies

• Flexible toys that adapt to different positions

• Soft, body-responsive silicone that doesn’t feel rigid or overwhelming

Crassie’s Flex Double Dildo, for example, was designed around this exact idea:
not performance, not imitation—just movement that responds naturally to two bodies at once.

Category 3: Strap On Toys 

Many queers love strap-on play. Many don’t. Many try it in a new relationship. 

If curiosity is there, a few things matter more than anything else:

Comfort First

A harness should feel secure, adjustable, and breathable. Crassie’s boxer style strap on harness, for instance, was created for people who want something that feels like clothing, not equipment.

Body-Safe Materials

Soft, platinum silicone matters—for safety, comfort, and emotional ease.

Designs That Respect Both Partners

Some newer strap on designs (like grinding base dildos) were developed specifically because lesbians asked for options that support the wearer’s comfort and sensation.

A Note on Lubricant (Quietly Essential)

Many queers only realize this later, so it’s worth saying gently:

Lube isn’t a “backup plan.”
It’s a comfort tool.

Even when you’re already aroused.
Even with toys.
Especially with toys.

A good water-based lubricant can make everything feel smoother, softer, and less mentally distracting—which often matters more than intensity.

How to Explore Them Without Pressure

A few tips that come straight from our community:

You don’t need to “get it right” the first time.

Some couples introduce toys slowly.
Some grab one impulsively.
Some never do.

At Crassie, we don’t believe lesbian sex toys should tell you how to have sex. We believe they should:

• Respect different bodies

• Respect emotional comfort

• Avoid pressure or imitation

• Support connection, not replace it

Every design—from flexible toys to harnesses to grinding-base options—came from listening to WLW experiences, not from trying to “upgrade” lesbian sex.

Exploration isn’t about becoming someone else.
It’s about becoming more comfortable being yourself.

And that’s always the point.