How To Not Feel Awkward About Using The Strapon On Sex ?

Why do you want to take it so seriously? Sex is supposed to be fun.

Wait… how are we actually supposed to do this?

“Why does this suddenly feel like a big deal?”

“What if we just laugh the whole time?”

“What if I look silly wearing it?”

The first time often looks more like this:

Figuring out how the harness goes on

Adjusting straps three times

Laughing because the angle feels weird

Realizing it’s… not even in yet

And that’s okay.

Strap on sex is a learned skill, not something anyone magically knows how to do. Just like learning any new kind of intimacy, it takes a little of me-time to practice alone, experimentation, and a lot of communication.

Why Some People Feel Nervous About First Time Strap On Sex

1. Body or Gender Insecurities

Some people worry that wearing a strap might trigger complicated feelings about gender identity or body image.

But it helps to remember something important:

A strapon isn’t trying to imitate anything. It’s lesbian sex equipment for shared pleasure between partners.

For many queer couples, strap on sex becomes its own unique language of intimacy that has nothing to do with traditional expectations.

2. “What If We Just Laugh the Whole Time?”

Yes, you will.

And that’s not a failure — it’s intimacy.

The first strap on sex experience started with uncontrollable laughs… and ended with some of the best sex they’ve had.

Laughter relaxes the body, releases tension, and makes it easier to explore something new together.

3. Medication or Sensation Changes

Some people explore strap-ons because medications (like antidepressants) can affect sensation or arousal.

Strap on toys can provide different types of stimulation that fingers or other lesbian sex toys might not.

For many couples, a strap on sex simply opens up new ways to experience pleasure together.

How to Use Strap On For First Time?

1. Practice Wearing Your Strap On Harness Alone First

Before trying it with your partner, spend a little time wearing the harness by yourself.

Put it on and walk around the room.

Sit down, stand up, bend your hips, and notice how the toy moves with your body.

You can even practice gentle thrusting motions in front of a mirror.

This might feel silly at first, but it actually helps your brain connect your hip movement with the toy’s movement, which makes everything feel much more natural later.

2. Practice Hip Movement (Yoga Helps a Lot)

Strap on movement doesn’t come from your arms or upper body — it comes from your hips and core.

A few simple stretches can help your body move more naturally:

• Cat–Cow stretch – improves pelvic flexibility
• Hip bridges – strengthens thrusting motion
• Low lunges – open the hips and help with rhythm

Even a few minutes of these movements can make strap-on sex feel smoother and more comfortable.

Think of it less like “thrusting” and more like slow rocking or grinding with your hips.

3. Talk Before You Start

Communication is one of the most important parts of strap on sex play.

Before you begin, talk about:

• what each partner is curious to try
• what feels comfortable or nervous
• whether you want slow exploration or playful experimentation

During sex, the receiving partner can guide things by saying things like:

“a little slower”
“that angle feels good”
“stay right there”

This makes it much easier for the person wearing the strap to learn what feels best.

Easy Strap On Sex Positions for Beginners

Some positions are much easier to control when you’re first learning. These beginner-friendly positions allow for better balance, slower movement, and easier communication.

1. Missionary (The Most Beginner Strap On Friendly)

Missionary is often the easiest starting position.

The receiving partner lies on their back while the partner wearing the strap kneels between their legs.

Why it works well for beginners:

• easy eye contact and communication
• slower controlled movement
• comfortable body support

A pillow under the hips can help adjust the angle and make penetration easier.

2. Spooning (Relaxed and Intimate)

Both partners lie on their sides facing the same direction.

This position naturally encourages slow grinding instead of fast thrusting, which many beginners find easier.

Benefits:

• very relaxed and comfortable
• less pressure to “perform”
• great for learning rhythm together

Many couples say this position feels the most natural during their first few experiences.

3. Cowgirl / Rider (The Receiving Partner on Top)

This is one of the best learning positions because the receiving partner controls the movement.

The partner wearing the strap lies on their back while the other partner sits on top.

Benefits:

• the receiving partner controls depth and speed
• removes pressure from the person wearing the strap
• easier to find the right angle

For many beginners, this position helps build confidence very quickly.

Final Tip: Think of It as Learning Together

The first few times using strap on is rarely perfect — and they don’t need to be.

The best experiences come from exploring together, laughing, adjusting positions, and learning each other’s rhythm.

Once your body becomes familiar with the movement, everything starts to feel much more natural.

And that’s when strap-on play often becomes one of the most exciting parts of queer intimacy.