Things to Know Before You Try Strap On Sex

Things to Know Before You Try Strap On Sex 

Trying strap on sex for the first time (or the tenth!) can feel like entering a whole new world—and not always the one the internet prepares you for. As someone who’s fumbled with harnesses, laughed through awkward angles, and finally found what really works, let me share something to you.

At Crassie, we’ve listened to our community. We’ve read threads, shared group chats, cried over DMs, and laughed through late-night rants. Here are things to know before you try strap on sex—the confusion, the myths, the things we wish someone told us sooner, and how to navigate them with confidence and joy.

1. Strap On Isn’t a Replacement for a Penis—It’s a Tool for Pleasure

Let’s throw this one out first. Some queers worry strap ons feel “too straight” or simulate something unwanted. But most of us agree: the strap is not about pretending to be a man or performing hetero sex. It’s a tool we use our way—queer, tender, kinky, slow, passionate. Whatever we want.

“I don’t associate it with heterosexuality because it’s strapped to a woman. It’s just a sex tool.” —By User.

2. You Don’t Have to Go Big

A lot of mainstream strap-ons are huge. Why? No idea. What we’ve learned: bigger is not better—especially if you’re a beginner. Crassie’s toys come in smaller sizes on purpose, because half our customers are just starting out. A gentle size builds trust, helps you explore, and leads to more pleasure later.

Try our Rose Bendable Dildo in size S—soft, curved, and made for learning your body.

3. Don’t Skip the Conversation

Strap-on sex takes communication. Who’s wearing it? What do you want to feel? What’s a no-go? Create space for honest convo before play. It builds trust, deepens intimacy, and ensures everyone feels respected and excited.

Tip: Ask “Do you want to try being in control first, or should I?”—it opens the door without pressure.

4. Yes, It Might Be Awkward at First

Putting it on? Walking around in it? Thrusting for the first time? It’s a little goofy. That’s normal! Most first times are funny and sweet. Laugh. Adjust. Take breaks. Awkward is part of intimacy—it means you’re learning together.

5. Harness Fit Can Make or Break the Experience

A poor-fitting harness = wobble, droop, frustration. Boxer-style harnesses like Crassie’s PrideHer feel natural, soft, and supportive. We’ve designed them with queer bodies in mind, from XS to 3XL, with sweat-wicking fabric and O-rings that don’t slip.

 “I love boxer harnesses, but most brands don’t fit plus-size folks. Yours actually does. Thank you.” —Customer DM

6. Not All Dildos Are Strap On Compatible

Some dildos are too soft, too wide, or have bases that don’t sit securely in a harness. Choose one with a flared base, 1.5" or less diameter (for beginners), and a firm enough core to stay upright. Crassie’s dual-density dildos are velvet-smooth outside, solid inside—perfect for control and comfort.

7. Lube Is Not Optional—It’s Sacred

Even if things feel wet, use lube. Silicone toys need water-based lube only. It helps avoid micro-tears, eases friction, and makes everything feel better. Pro tip: apply lube inside the vagina and on the toy.

8. Practice Makes Pleasure

Wear the harness around the house. Practice hip motion. Try different positions. Don’t expect perfection on night one. Like oral or finger skills, it takes time to read each other’s bodies and sync up.

9. It’s Okay to Not Love It

Some queers adore the strap. Some like it once a month. Some try it and decide it’s not for them. That’s okay. You are still valid. Our sex is not defined by toys—it’s defined by what you enjoy with your partner.

10. You Can Be the Top and Still Be Nervous

Giving with a strap can be vulnerable. Will they enjoy it? Am I doing it right? Reminder: tops deserve aftercare too. Take turns, ask for feedback, and allow yourself to learn without shame.

11. Vibrating Strap Ons Add Extra Fun

If you want internal and external pleasure for both partners, vibrating dildos like Crassie’s Viva offer that buzz. Add a bullet vibe in the harness pocket for clitoral stimulation while thrusting. Yes, it's a game changer.

12. Aftercare for the Gear Is Self-Love Too

Clean your dildo with toy-safe soap or warm water and mild cleanser. Air dry. Hand-wash your harness or machine-wash it in a delicates bag. Respect your gear—it respects your body.

13. Yes, It’s Safe to Use with Condoms or Gloves

If you’re swapping partners or using it for anal play, slap a condom on your toy. If you're using fingers, wear nitrile gloves. It’s sexy and respectful. Also, remember: silicone toys = no silicone lube.

14. Your Pleasure Matters—Always

If you’re the one wearing the strap, you deserve stimulation too. A good harness hugs the clit. Use a vibe. Try grinding. Being the giver doesn’t mean you give everything away.

15. You’re Not Alone—You’re Evolving

Thousands of lesbians have tried, adjusted, laughed, and grown through their strap-on journeys. The goal is not perfection—it’s connection. That alone is worth a try.

Ready to Try?

Check out our curated gear for every size and skill level:

• Rose Bendable Dildo: Ultra-flexible, perfect for G-spot play

• Viva Vibrating Dildo: Dual pleasure for both partners

• PrideHer Boxer Harness: Breathable, comfy, secure

• Adjustable Harness: Classic and reliable

• Crassie Strap On Kits: All-in-one sets for your first adventure

Because at Crassie, we believe every queer body deserves tools that fit, feel right, and bring joy.

 It’s All Yours

Strap on sex isn’t a performance—it’s play. It’s connection. It’s a celebration of your body, your partner’s body, and the ways you want to explore each other.

So take your time. Ask questions. Adjust. Laugh. Moan. Fall apart. Start over.

And when you're ready, let the strap be yours.