Tips for Double Dildo

When we talk about double ended dildos, I think it is easy to focus on the shape first: two ends, one toy, two people. But after working with many products, I’ve learned that the more useful question is actually how you want the toy to move with you.

Some couples love the simplicity of a non-vibrating double sided dildo. There is no motor, no charging, and no vibration competing with the sensation of movement. You and your partner create the rhythm together. A flexible design can also be adjusted to suit different bodies and positions.

Others prefer a vibrating double dildo because vibration adds another layer of sensation while reducing some of the physical effort required to create stimulation.

Neither option is automatically better. They simply create different experiences.

What Is a Double Ended Dildo?

A double ended dildo, sometimes called a double dildo or double sided dildo, is a sex toy designed with two ends so two partners can share the same toy during intimate play.

Unlike a conventional dildo, a double-ended design creates a connection between the partners through the toy itself. One person's movement affects the other person, which can make the experience feel particularly synchronized.

Of course, there is no one way lesbians have sex, and what people do depends on what they enjoy and what feels right for them. That is something I think is worth remembering when shopping for any intimacy product: there is no “correct” way to use one. A double-ended dildo can be part of your relationship in whatever way works for both of you.

Double Dildos vs. Vibrating Double Dildos

The most obvious difference is simple:

Double ended dildos rely on your bodies and movement. Vibrating models add vibration.

But that small difference can have a surprisingly big effect on the overall experience.

For me, the real distinction isn't simply manual versus vibrating.

It's where you want the sensation to come from.

With a non-vibrating toy, more of the experience comes from the two of you. With a vibrating toy, the motor becomes another participant in the experience.

The Case for a Double-Ended Dildo

You control the movement

One of my favorite things about a non-electric double-ended dildo is how responsive it can feel.

There is no motor setting telling you what to feel. Instead, the toy responds to changes in:

• Movement
• Pressure
• Position
• Angle
• Rhythm
• Body contact

That can make the experience feel very connected because both partners are actively contributing to the movement.

If one person changes position, the other person can feel that change. If you slow down, the toy slows down. If you change the angle, the sensation changes with you.

For couples who enjoy that kind of physical coordination, a non-vibrating double sided dildo can feel wonderfully intuitive.

Flexible shafts give you more freedom

This is one of the main reasons I wanted to feature Crassie's Flex Double Dildo in this article.

A rigid double-ended dildo has a predetermined shape. A flexible one gives you more room to adjust.

The Crassie Flex Double Dildo is designed with a bendable shaft that can be shaped along the shaft to suit the angle you prefer.

That doesn't mean it will magically stay perfectly positioned regardless of movement. It means you can start by finding a shape that works better for your bodies and your chosen position.

And I think that distinction matters.

Bodies aren't identical. Neither are couples. A shape that works beautifully for one couple may feel completely wrong for another.

A little flexibility can make it easier to experiment.

Why We Made the Crassie Flex Double Dildo

When we developed the Flex Double Dildo, we weren't trying to make the most complicated double-ended dildo on the market.

We wanted something that felt more adaptable.

The idea was simple:

What if the toy could adjust to the couple instead of asking the couple to adapt completely to the toy?

The Flex has:

• A bendable shaft
• A soft platinum silicone exterior
• A short side measuring approximately 4.7 inches
• A long side measuring approximately 4.6 inches
• Approximately 1.2-inch diameter
• A raised clitoral bump on the round-tip end
• Compatibility with compatible strap-on harnesses

The flexible construction is particularly useful when you want to experiment with different angles rather than being locked into one fixed shape.

The Soft Silicone Difference

Material is one of those things that doesn't always get enough attention when we're shopping for sex toys.

Two toys can look almost identical in a product photo and feel completely different in your hands.

Crassie sex toys are made from platinum silicone, a non-porous material commonly used in quality sex toys.

Non-porous materials are generally easier to clean because they don't absorb fluids in the same way porous materials can. Our community recommends body-safe, non-porous materials such as 100% silicone for toys used internally.

But “silicone” alone doesn't tell you everything about how a toy feels.

The final experience also depends on:

• The thickness of the silicone
• The internal structure
• The shape
• The flexibility
• The texture
• How the toy is constructed

That's why I wouldn't choose a toy based solely on its material label. Material and design need to be considered together.

What I Like About Double Dildos

For me, the advantages come down to three things.

1. Natural movement

You and your partner create the movement together rather than relying on a motor.

2. Flexibility

A bendable design such as the Flex allows you to experiment with the shape and angle.

3. Simplicity

There's no charging cable, battery indicator, vibration button, or motor.

You pick it up, clean it, add compatible lubricant, adjust the shape, and you're ready to go.

There is something nice about that simplicity.

The Downsides of Double Dildos

Of course, no toy is perfect for everyone.

The biggest disadvantage of a non-electric double dildo is also its biggest advantage:

You have to create the movement yourselves.

That means it can require more physical effort, especially during longer sessions.

You may need to:

• Adjust your position
• Change your rhythm
• Reposition the toy
• Find a comfortable angle
• Take breaks if you're getting tired

For some couples, that's part of the fun. For others, it may be exactly what they want to avoid.

That's where an electric model can make more sense.

A Note About Stability and Slipping

This is something I particularly want to be honest about because product descriptions sometimes make double-ended toys sound more stable than they really are.

A double-ended dildo is held in place through a combination of body positioning, the toy's shape, movement, and engagement of the pelvic floor muscles.

That means there is always some possibility of the toy shifting or slipping.

A flexible shaft can help you find a more comfortable configuration, and a compatible harness can provide additional support, but no double-ended toy can guarantee that it will remain perfectly stationary throughout use.

Some movement is inherent to this type of toy.

I don't consider that something to hide from customers. In fact, I think knowing this beforehand makes the first experience much less frustrating.

If the toy moves out of position, simply pause, adjust it, and find your angle again.

And if something feels uncomfortable, stop rather than trying to push through it.

The Case for Vibrating Double Ended Dildos

Vibrating double ended dildos add a motor and vibration to the experience.

For some couples, that's exactly what they're looking for.

Less physical effort

One major advantage is that the motor can provide additional stimulation without requiring every sensation to come from your own movement.

That can be useful if:

• You get tired easily
• You prefer vibration
• You want additional stimulation alongside movement
• You enjoy experimenting with different vibration intensities

Vibrators are designed to provide vibration through electrical or battery power, and they come in many different shapes and intended uses.

A vibrating double dildo can therefore combine the shared movement of a double-ended toy with the additional sensation of vibration.

Vibrating Double Dildos Can Also Be Overwhelming

More stimulation isn't necessarily better.

This is one reason I don't think electric automatically means “upgrade.”

Strong or prolonged vibration can feel overwhelming for some people. Depending on the person and the intensity, continuous vibration may eventually feel less distinct or temporarily reduce sensitivity.

That's why adjustable intensity can be useful.

Instead of immediately choosing the strongest setting, start lower and give your body time to adjust. If the sensation becomes uncomfortable or numb, reduce the intensity or take a break.

Sometimes less really does feel like more.

Other Considerations With Vibrating Models

Vibrating dildos also introduce a few practical differences.

You have to think about:

Charging

A rechargeable toy needs to be charged before use.

Noise

Motors create sound. Some are very quiet, while others are more noticeable.

Maintenance

You have an additional electronic component to care for.

Sensation

The vibration itself becomes part of the experience. That's great if you enjoy vibration, but not necessarily ideal if you prefer the simpler sensation of movement and pressure.

Again, neither choice is better.

It's about what you want.

Double dildo vs. Vibrating: Which Is Better?

If you're asking me for a universal winner, I don't think there is one.

Instead, I'd ask yourself what you want your toy to do.

Choose a double dildo if you...

• Prefer movement created naturally between partners
• Want more control over rhythm and pressure
• Like flexible designs
• Prefer a quiet experience
• Don't mind putting in more physical effort
• Want a simple toy without charging
• Enjoy the feeling of being physically connected through the toy

Choose a vibrating double dildo if you...

• Enjoy vibration
• Want to reduce some physical effort
• Prefer adjustable stimulation
• Want vibration alongside movement
• Don't mind charging a toy
• Enjoy experimenting with different intensity levels

Choose a flexible double dildo if you...

• Want to experiment with different angles
• Prefer a softer, more adaptable design
• Don't want a rigid toy dictating your positioning
• Like the idea of adjusting the shape to your bodies

That's where I think the Flex Double Dildo makes a particularly good case for itself.

How to Choose the Right Double Ended Dildo

Once you've decided which type you want, there are several other things I would consider.

1. Diameter

Diameter can make a significant difference in comfort.

The Flex Double Dildo has a diameter of approximately 1.2 inches on both sides.

But I wouldn't tell every beginner that one specific diameter is automatically right for them. Bodies and preferences vary.

Think about what you and your partner are already comfortable with, and choose accordingly.

2. Flexibility

Ask yourself:

Do I want the toy to adapt to us, or do I want us to adapt to the toy?

If you're new to double-ended toys, flexibility can be appealing because it gives you more room to experiment with positioning.

The Flex's bendable shaft is designed specifically around that idea.

3. Texture

Texture is another personal preference.

Some people prefer:

• Smooth surfaces
• Fine ridges
• Raised textures
• More pronounced patterns

The Flex combines a silky silicone surface with subtle ridges and a raised bump on one end.

I like this approach because it adds texture without making the entire toy aggressively textured.

4. Harness Compatibility

A harness isn't necessary for every double-ended dildo, but it can be useful if you want additional support.

A good harness-toy combination can also give you more freedom to focus on your partner rather than constantly thinking about whether the toy is positioned correctly.

What Material Is Best for a Double Dildo?

There isn't one material that feels right to everyone, but I generally recommend paying close attention to whether the toy is made from a non-porous, body-safe material.

Platinum silicone is one popular choice because it can provide a soft, flexible feel while remaining non-porous and relatively easy to clean.

Other materials you may encounter include TPE, TPR, PVC, jelly materials, glass, and metal.

Be careful with vague material descriptions. “Soft” doesn't necessarily mean “better,” and a toy being marketed as silicone doesn't automatically tell you whether it is made from 100% silicone or a blend.

For toys that are inserted into the body, non-porous materials such as 100% silicone, hard plastic, stainless steel, and break-resistant glass.

For me, material transparency is part of good product design.

You should know what you're buying.

How to Use a Double-Ended Dildo More Comfortably

There isn't one perfect position or technique, and I don't want to pretend there is.

Instead, I'd focus on a few fundamentals.

Start with the shape

If you're using a flexible model like the Flex, adjust the bend gradually rather than forcing it into an extreme angle.

Use enough lubricant

For silicone toys, water-based lubricant is a straightforward choice. Silicone-based lubricant can damage some silicone toys, so check the manufacturer's instructions before using it.

Start slowly

Give both partners time to adjust.

There is no prize for getting everything right immediately.

Communicate

Especially with a double-ended toy, one person's movement directly affects the other person.

Talk about:

• Pressure
• Pace
• Angle
• Comfort
• Whether the toy is shifting

Reposition when necessary

If the toy slips or shifts, stop and adjust.

That's normal.

And remember: pelvic-floor engagement can help with positioning, but you shouldn't have to hold excessive muscular tension throughout the experience. If something is painful or uncomfortable, stop and reassess.

Sharing a Double Dildo: A Quick Hygiene Reminder

This is one of those topics that isn't particularly glamorous, but it's worth mentioning.

When a sex toy is shared between partners, bodily fluids can potentially transfer infections. Cleaning the toy between users or using a new condom on the toy can reduce that risk. Wash sex toys with mild soap and water, and change condoms when a toy moves from one partner to another or between different body areas.

For a silicone double dildo, follow the manufacturer's specific cleaning instructions.

For Crassie's Flex, I'd recommend:

1. Clean the toy after use.
2. Use mild soap and warm water unless the product instructions specify otherwise.
3. Rinse thoroughly.
4. Allow it to dry completely.
5. Store it somewhere clean and dry.

And if you're using lubricant, remember that water-based lubricant is generally the safest default for silicone toys.

Find the Double Dildo That Fits Your Rhythm

So, non-vibrating or vibrating?

My answer is: start with the experience you actually want.

If you love vibration and want to reduce some physical effort, an electric double dildo may be the better choice.

If you prefer quiet, body-led movement and want to feel more directly connected to your partner's rhythm, a non-electric double-ended dildo may be a better fit.

And if flexibility is high on your list, a bendable design like the Crassie Flex Double Dildo is worth considering.

For me, the best double dildo isn't necessarily the one with the most features.

It's the one that lets two people stop thinking about the toy and start paying attention to each other.

Different bodies. Different rhythms. Different choices are valid.

That's exactly why we made Flex.