How Do Lesbians Have Sex Safely?

So… How Do Lesbians Have Sex Safely?

Let’s just say this loud and proud:
Lesbian sex is not just one thing.
It’s not just oral. It’s not just scissoring. And it’s definitely not just a copy of hetero sex minus the guy.

As a plus size lesbian who’s explored intimacy with women across different stages of life, I can tell you—our sex is a buffet of options. Fingering. Toys. Oral. Tribbing. Strap-ons. Massage. Mutual masturbation. Light dom/sub play. And of course, laughter, love, and those long, lingering looks that say "come closer."

But one question I see all the time is:

“How do lesbians have safe sex?”
And more importantly:
“Is it bad if I don’t use anything for protection?”

Let’s get into it—with love, honesty, and zero judgment.

Why Safe Sex Still Matters for Us

We’ve been left out of the sex-ed conversation for decades. Most of us were handed a banana and a condom and told to “use protection,” but no one explained what that means when there’s no penis involved.

Here’s the truth:
Yes, STIs can be transmitted through lesbian sex.
Through bodily fluids, shared toys, and even skin-to-skin contact during intense sessions.

So let’s break down how we protect ourselves—and each other.

The Lesbian Safe Sex Toolkit (Straight from Reddit Discussions)

Based on hundreds of community posts, here’s what queer women actually use to stay safe—and sexy:

For Fingering or Fisting

Use gloves—latex, nitrile, or vinyl.
They create a barrier between hands and mucous membranes. Bonus: they’re amazing for sensation control and easy cleanup. Add lube inside the glove for a slicker feel.

Pro Tip: If you have long nails, gloves help reduce the risk of microtears.

 For Toys & Strap On Play

Use a condom on the toy—especially if you're sharing it between partners or switching orifices.

BUT.
Not all condoms are safe for silicone toys.

Warning: Most mainstream condoms are pre-lubed with silicone-based lube, which can degrade silicone dildos.

Use unlubricated latex condoms or water-base lube if you’re using high-quality silicone dildos like Crassie’s dual density toys.

Also, always wash your toys thoroughly after each use.

 For Oral Sex

Dental dams or a cut-open condom work great.
Place them over the vulva or anus before oral. Yeah, they can feel awkward at first—but with the right touch (and lube), they melt into the background.

Reddit Wisdom: “Don’t knock it till you try it. Also, flavor helps.”

For Vag-to-Vag Contact (Tribbing)

Technically, STIs can be passed this way, though it's rare. Some folks use dental dams or female condoms, but many don’t.

So how do we stay safe? Get tested. Talk often. Know your bodies.

 What About Emotionally Safe Sex?

Let’s be honest—navigating strap-ons or toys for the first time can feel emotionally vulnerable too.
That’s why so many Redditors emphasize emotional safety just as much as physical protection.

Things We Say That Help:

• “Want to try this together and see how it feels?”

• “Let’s go slow. You can stop me anytime.”

• “This is new to me, but I trust you.”

• “No pressure to finish—this is about us enjoying each other.”

Lesbian Tools That Work — and We Love Them

After talking about safety and emotional trust, let’s talk toys. Because many of us love them—not as penis replacements, but as pleasure tools we own.

Here are some tools I use and love:

 1. Crassie’s Rose Bendable Dildo

• Soft on the outside, firm on the inside

• Bendable = customized G-spot angle

• Available in small beginner-friendly size and larger sizes for more seasoned users

• Suction cup for solo play or partner use

2. Viva Vibrating Dildo

• Silicone-based, body-safe

• Great for clit or penetration play

• Pairs perfectly with a harness for added power

 3. SnugHer Boxer Strap On Harness

• Boxer brief style = no dangling straps

• Double-layered O-ring panel = dildo stays in place during intense movement

• Inclusive sizing up to plus-size

• Feels like everyday underwear but built for sex

4. Adjustable Strap On Harness

• Classic fit, perfect for experimenting with sizes and dildos

• Great for first-time strapping

• Fully adjustable = secure without chafing

5. Double Ended Dildo

• For mutual penetration

• Flexible and smooth silicone

• Perfect for eye-to-eye intimacy or creative scissoring positions

You Make the Rules

Do all lesbians use toys? No.
Do all lesbians use protection? Not always.
Is there one way to have lesbian sex? Absolutely not.

Your body, your bedroom, your rhythm.

Whether you’re a glove wearer, a G-spot explorer, a dental dam queen, or just dipping your toes into strap-ons for the first time—this is your journey.

Just be open, honest, and informed. That’s how we build intimacy that feels safe, hot, and affirming.

I wish someone had told me all this when I was figuring it out. That I didn’t have to feel weird about asking. That I wasn’t broken for wanting to use toys—or not wanting to. That safety could be a part of sex without killing the mood.

So here I am, telling you:
You’re doing great.
You’re allowed to ask questions.
And yes, lesbian sex can be as soft, rough, sweet, kinky, quiet, or loud as you want it to be.

Go love boldly. Go love safely.