What Is a Bottom in Lesbian Sex?

WLW Sex, a bottom is someone who prefers to being receiver. Bottoms may enjoy being touched, penetrated (with fingers, tongues, strap on on, vibrating dildo ), or simply being the focus of attention during intimacy.

You might hear the term “pillow princess” to describe a bottom who loves receiving but doesn’t usually give — and that’s okay! Some bottoms are more switchy, while others are hard bottoms who prefer not to top at all.

"Power bottoms" refer to bottoms who direct their tops exactly how to please them during sex. "Bratty bottoms" are generally teased the person topping them with lesbian dirty talk.

Bottoming is about comfort, trust, and consent. It doesn’t mean you’re passive — it just means you know how you like to experience pleasure. top vs bottom lesbian​ both play powerful roles in queer sex.

First Time Bottoming — especially if you’ve been a top for years—can feel terrifying.

For years, I was always the one giving—the top. I thought about receiving a lot, even longed for it, but I couldn’t tap into the kind of pleasure I knew was possible. It wasn’t about pain or discomfort—I just couldn’t let go. That changed when I reached a deeper level of trust with my partner. Something shifted. I let myself soften, and it opened up a new world of sensation. But it took time. There’s no deadline, and no right age to figure it out.

Even now, bottoming feels more exposed than topping ever did. It can bring up intense emotions. I’ve cried. I’ve felt needy in ways I never expected. But that’s also what makes it so powerful and meaningful—I crave it now, because it lets me be held and known in a different way.

If you're going to try it, be honest about how nervous you feel. Let your partner know that you might need space, or that you might want to stop and check in. That’s not failure—that’s care. Explore slowly. Don’t worry about whether you’re doing it “right.” The first time doesn’t have to be mind-blowing or even successful. Just focus on being close, not on reaching a goal.

I’ve never bottomed before , what should I prepare? should i shaved?

Absolutely don’t have to shave. That’s entirely your call—and has nothing to do with how good or “ready” you are. And It’s intimate, it’s vulnerable, and yeah—it can be scary. A lot of tops (especially stone tops) struggle with the idea of being seen, touched, or entered. 

The truth is, bottoming can crack open something deep and soft inside you—but only if you feel safe. Safety first. No pressure. You can always say no, or stop at any time.

It was the strap on on feeling of first time being bottom , I couldn’t access the level of pleasure I wanted until I finally reached a level of trust. Then it clicked. I let go. I still cry during sex sometimes—it’s that vulnerable—but I love it and crave it at the same time.

Lesbian Sex Tips 101 Start Slow  (Slower Than You Think)

Here’s what “starting slow” might look like:

• Naked cuddling without expectations
• A back massage in dim light
• Letting her kiss your hips or thighs without rushing
• Grinding or clit play with lesbian sex toys you control
• Lights off, or shirt half-on—whatever makes you feel safer

Your body doesn't owe a performance. The goal isn’t orgasm. The goal is exploration, intimacy, and showing up for yourself in a new way.

What Strap On Harness Setup is Best for First Time Bottoms?

If you’re exploring strap on penetration for the first time, here’s what helps:

Choose a soft silicone dildo ,platinum silicone and flexible dildo

A dual density bendable dildo like Crassie’s ROSE is perfect. It’s not stiff or intimidating—it's soft, bendable, and lets you guide the angle. High cervix? Sensitive G-spot? You can curve it to meet your body exactly where it needs to be met.

(* Rose Bendable Dildo / Dual Density )

Go slow and short

Start with a small dildo (4 – 6 inche dildo ), especially if you’re nervous about pain or pressure. another dual density dildo Velvet Touch has a gentle shape and plush texture that’s ideal for slow, exploratory play.

What Makes Dual Density Dildo So Special?
Dual density dildo is crafted with a super soft outer layer wrapped around a firmer core, giving you that real feeling but non realsitic. It’s the closest thing to soft feeling while offering the control and comfort of a strap on toy. This dual density dildo helps move with your body, not against it — ideal for first-time receivers who want to explore with ease.

Lesbian Sex Positions That Work for Nervous Bottoms

If you’re feeling vulnerable or unsure, the right position can help you feel more in control and reduce anxiety. Here are a few beginner-friendly positions to try:

Spooning (Side-Lying): Gentle, intimate, and great for slow, shallow penetration. Ideal for softer, more emotional sessions.

Missionary (With a Pillow Under Hips): Helps tilt your pelvis to naturally expose the G-spot or A-spot. Also allows for eye contact and communication.

Lying on Your Stomach: Great for a sense of grounding. Let your partner ease in slowly while you focus on relaxing your body.

Riding (You on Top): If you’re ready for more control, you can go slow, adjust the angle, and explore what feels good.

Jock harness is A beginner strap on on MUST

Try a strap on kit that’s easy to wear and soft on the skin. Jock harness with velcrol adjust is way more easy to beginner. Adjustable jock harness designed for maximum stability and less “wobble” anxiety.

What type of lube for a strap on ？

Always. Use. Lube. Water-based is easy to clean, and perfect for your soft silicone dildo. 

Bottoming Isn’t Just About Sex

It’s about letting go of control. It’s about learning what your body likes. It’s about being held and opened and known.

And if the first time doesn’t “work”? That’s okay too.

There’s no right way to wlw sex. You’re not behind. You’re not broken. You’re just beginning a new kind of journey—and that’s brave as hell.