Here’s the real tea: strap on play isn’t just about penetration. It’s a full mind-body experience, where the visuals, sounds, emotional connection, and power dynamics all come together into one wildly hot cocktail.
And , My advice is make it loud and sloppy. The whole goal here is the audio-visual of her girl giving her strap some love. So be messy! 

Why Visual Play is Such a Big Deal (Yes, Strap Sucking Is Hot)

Maybe you’ve heard of "strap sucking" and thought: Wait, why would you suck something your partner can’t feel?
The answer is simple: it’s all about visual and mental stimulation. For many masc/stone butches, femmes, and switches alike, seeing their partner kneel down, tease, lick, and suck the strap is devastatingly sexy. It’s an act of devotion, submission, worship—and it doesn’t matter if the dildo itself doesn’t feel physical sensation. Your partner feels the love, desire, and power exchange.

Pro tips for incredible strap sucking

You don’t have to go deep—it’s the show that counts.

Make it loud, wet, and messy. Sucking noises? A major turn-on.

Dress (or undress) for the occasion. A cute bra, hot lingerie, or even bare tits dripping spit on their strap? 

Use your hands too: stroke the soft silicone dildo , hold the base, and enjoy the moment.

Bonus: Since visual stimulation is what we're going for here, if your girlfriend loves tits, jerk her strap off over your cleavage. It's super hot. Boobs are hot. Queers that enjoy strap on harness play and boobs are going to think it's hot.

Pro Tip: A mirror can make strap sucking even hotter. Watching yourself worship your partner? Chef’s kiss.

Choosing the Right Strap On Harness for Maximum Pleasure
The right gear makes everything better. If you're serious about diving into strap sucking, hard packing, and all the juicy in-between moments, you’re going to want a strap on harness and dildo that work with you, not against you.

1. Vibration Matters—for the Wearer, Too

A lot of vibrating strap-ons are stiff as hell because of the internal motor.
But what you really want is a vibrating strap-on that's soft enough for comfy, body-safe penetration, and gives clit-stimulating vibes to the wearer. That way, your partner can actually grind into it and feel pleasure while you go down on them (or ride them, or anything else your heart desires).

Crassie's Vibrating Strap-On Harness solves this perfectly:

• Strong clitoral vibration for the wearer
• Body-safe silicone shaft that’s still soft and flexible
• Perfect for strap sucking, grinding, and penetration

If your top wants to cum from wearing a strap-on, this is the one.

And honestly, it's very pleasurable, but more on a mental level. The idea of doing it, of being watched, the visual part — that's what turns you on, not so much the physical sensation itself. And the mental sensation combined with the physical stimulation is incredible—highly recommended!

2. Dual Density Dildo Feels Way More Real Feeling

If you love the idea of a strap but hate how some dildos feel too plastic-y, you need to experience dual-density silicone and platinum.
It’s squishy outside, firm inside — meaning it mimics the feel of a real body without losing that thrusting power.

Crassie's Dual Density Dildo and Harness Starter Kit:

Real feeling with a soft, touchable exterior

Adjustable, comfy Jock harness included

Especially amazing for first-time strap users (trust me, your body will thank you)

This strap on kit is beginner-perfect but so good, you’ll keep reaching for it even once you’re a seasoned strap queen.

Bonus Strap On Play Tips for Next-Level

Mind the mound: Adjust the soft silicone dildo base low enough so the strap rubs deliciously against your clit with every thrust. (That grinding feeling = next level.)

Foreplay with the strap ON: Let your partner touch, kiss, and suck the strap while you’re still wearing clothes or just before actual penetration. It builds wild anticipation.

Switch it up: Strap play doesn’t have to be just one person giving. Switch roles, or explore positions where both partners can grind, ride, or touch the strap.

My partner does this for me pretty often, and it's something that we both enjoy. I would say vibrating dildo clitoral stimulation is the way to go. If you can position the base to where it's over her clit, that adds to the feeling of realness because it gives sensation to some of your movements. We usually put that behind the base onto my clit and let it work it's magic lol.

Naturally, I enjoy penetration, so in addition to clit stimulators my partner will also use a dildo on me and move it in rhythm with her ministrations. 

Lastly, as the person sucking the strap, you gotta have fun with it. My partner actually enjoys it, so seeing her enthusiasm makes me like it more. Moan, make eye contact, touch her, use your hands, exaggerate some movements, talk to her.....yep, that'll do it.